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Whether you’ve been dumped by your date or you’ve had a rough day at the office, having healthy coping skills can be key to getting through tough times. Coping skills help you tolerate, minimize, and deal with stressful conditions in life. Managing your stress well can help you feel better physically and psychologically and it can impact your ability to perform your best.
Problem-Based Coping vs. Emotion-Based Coping
When you’re feeling distressed, ask yourself, “Do I need to change my condition or do I need to find a way to better cope with the situation?” Then, you can decide which type of coping strategy will help you best proceed.
Emotion-based coping is helpful when you need to take care of your feelings when you either don’t want to change your condition or when circumstances are out of your control. For example, if you are grieving the loss of a loved one, it’d be important to take care of your feelings in a healthy way (since you can’t change the circumstance).
Problem-focused coping: You go to the boss and talk about what you can do to improve your performance. You develop a clear plan that will help you do better and you start to feel more confident about your capability to succeed.
Emotion-focused coping: You spend your lunch break reading a book to distract yourself from catastrophic predictions that you’re going to be fired and become homeless. After work, you exercise and clean the house as a way to help you feel better so you can think about the condition more clearly.
Problem-focused coping: You sit your teenager down and tell him that he’s going to be grounded until his room is clean. You take away his electronics and put him on restriction. In the meantime, you shut the door to his room so you don’t have to look at the mess.
Emotion-focused coping: You decide to run some bathwater because a hot bath always helps you feel better. You know a bath will help you calm down so you don’t yell at him or overreact.
Healthy Emotion-Focused Coping Skills
Whether you’re feeling lonely, nervous, sad, or angry, emotion-focused coping skills can help you deal with your feelings in a healthy way. Healthy coping strategies may soothe you, temporarily distract you, or help you tolerate your distress.
Healthy Problem-Focused Coping Skills
There are many ways you might decide to tackle a problem head-on and eliminate the source of your stress. In some cases, that may mean changing your behaviour or creating a plan that helps you know what action you’re going to take.